Good evening! It is finally getting cold here again (-20) and I still have plenty to do outside and under the trailer. Classic Alaskan project timeline of course! I finally got the sheetrock up in Emily's room. Now to do the finish work.
We are hanging in there. My lungs aren't improving much but I have an appointment tomorrow for some tests. Still have lots to do around the house so I am hoping that my lungs decide to heal. If that's the problem. Leila isn't showing any real improvement yet and is having nausea in the mornings. The kids are doing okay. The great news is that Emily had a couple of really good days! For a few days last week, the real, bright and shining Emily came out and it was fun for everyone!
I may have mentioned earlier that people with chronic fatigue/fibromyalgia are subject to having flare-ups and increased symptoms when under stress. Given the stress we are under, it is a miracle that Leila is able to function at all! Financial stress is great right now. Also, the loss of friends over the years due to health issues and the lack of meaningful relationships weighs heavily on Leila. The losses our kids have experienced, especially Emily and Kevin, are also great.
In terms of financial stress, we have no idea how we are going to make it through the winter and keep our house except that God promises to be with us. A few sources of expected money (promised paperwork for reimbursements, etc.) have not materialized or the door has been closed. Our credit card debt which was already high due to special needs, has doubled and is an unbelievable burden. Dave Ramsey and others preach elimination of debt and restricted use of credit cards. Clearly, the Bible teaches use of credit is a bondage and that is exactly what we feel right now but what does one do? If you don't buy the special foods, someone goes without or eats a toxin. If we don't buy fuel. our house freezes. This situation appears to be very common for families with serious health issues, a group to which we have belonged for a long time. With gas over $3.50 a gallon and heating oil following suit, we are needing to really stretch our dollars!
Leila and I are working to give all this to God and let Him take over. Unlike promises made by humans that are subject to change, God's promises are always kept! More importantly, Leila and Emily are particularly susceptible to stress so we need to let things go to help them avoid the negative affects of stress. I suspect that the stress I've experienced over the years (much related to health stuff) has probably stripped 10 or more years off my life. I'm sure that we will make it just fine but things will need to be very tight. In light of how specific situations have worked out, we believe that God is truly wanting us to depend fully on Him and that He will provide. We look forward to what He is going to do. The Bible says our God is a big God. Well, we get to see Him at work for us this year.
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